pathetic.

I recently realized why im not dating anybody. Boys take it wayyy to extreme sometimes.
They get way to clingy and try way to hard.

I met this boy at my work and i though everything was okay, but he would say things here and there that just pushed me away. He got really clingy and im not the only one who thinks so, but in his eyes he wasnt.

My phone broke and still to this days isnt working correctly and im such a horrible person for it.
I had a full time job and a part time job so i was working all the time or sleeping. I would spend time with my bestfriend and family before i would with some random guy i knew nothing was going to happen with.
I got called immature and everything by this boy just because when i realized i didnt want anything to go any futher i let him know. He said that i lead him on blah blah blah. HAHA there was just NOO spark at all. He was kinda boring and not my type at all.  Bottom line is i could care less about some random 22 year old who isnt going to ever get a decent relationship.

He blogs about me which although he states hes over me still has the need to post things about me.
I have my reasons on why i dont like him, those are my own. Im mature enough to not post anything in my blog about everything just what i put up there. I understand people have the freedom of speech but really? Lets write a book and call me a horrible person? Its okay though, people have read this persons blog and see where im comming from(:

Anyway, i recently just quit me full time job to just realx for a while. I have two part time jobs which is actually a lot better than one full time job. I have a lot more time to enjoy the world. Im 20 i deserve it!
Now i can actually spend time on somebody i want to. Im actually looking forward to having a boy in my life.
Ive always been ready but now im going for it!

Its time to change my life!
<3

hm.

Wow, i havent blogged in quite some time. Maybe its due to the fact that all i do is work. I feel like im missing out on the important things in life. Sure having extra money is very nice but i have no time to use it.  Lately the extra money i have been making i spent on food for a food drive and clothes and toys for a little girl in a foster home. I should been amazing about myself for that but i just feel so incomplete.

I go from one job straight to another, im always sooo tired but yet im unable to sleep. Everybodys able to see how mentally tired i am, but yet they dont seem to really care. On my days off i just want to relax and sleep but people are getting so upset when i tell them that. Im so tired of hurting peoples feelings, so i cave and go out and im bitchy. I find myself wondering if im ready  to have this much stuff on my plate. Working full time is hard enough than adding a part time job on top of that is beyond stressful. I dont have time for myself im just dont think im ready to give somebody else my time when i cant even have it all to myself. Maybe its because im so selfish with things like this other hand im tired of always letting people down.

This week.

Where to start, my week has been pretty horrible. Between been super sick and work i could careless about anything right now. I feel like yesterday was my breaking point. I havent cried in such a long time and last night i just couldnt hold it in. Anything that could have went wrong just kinda happened. It was like a kick in the face. But with every negative i have i always try to see a possitive. I learned a lot about myself.

Im not quite sure if this is a possitive or a negative yet, but i found myself giving everybody advice and making sure they were fine yesterday and didnt even really attempt to cheer myself up. Two of my friends were having shitty days and were crying. I attempted to cheer them up. The sad part is, neither of them even noticed i was upset. Nobody really did for the matter, except a handful of amazing people.

I reallly hate my full time job. Its not so much the job, its the people and how immature they are. I feel like im in high school while im there.  Theres the gossip about who is dating who, who hates you, the dirttyy looks and the amazing rumors about people. I always seem to get into the middle of it. I honestly keep to myself, its rediculous.

I recently met this boy, hes pretty awesome so far. We will see(;


I would like to take a moment and just say i freakiinngg hate when you take your car to the garage and it takes FOREVER! Hello just because i have a honda doesnt mean you can tell me ohhhh its from japan its hard to understand. YOURE SUPOSE TO BE THE ONE WHO KNOWS EVERYTHINGG...


goodbye until tomorrow. <3